Hello Autumn

There's a change in the air and I can almost smell the arrival of Autumn. It's a time of year I honestly feel myself craving and after the intense Summer we've had I am more than ready for it. 

The shops are slowly introducing their chunky knits, ankle boots and oversized scarves. X-Factor and Strictly are back on TV and filtering their way into our lives again. I've already been tempted on more than once occasion to switch the heating on (*but I'm going to try and hold out until at least October). The levels of tea I am drinking is increasing on a daily basis and Cuppa Soups are back in my life again. Autumn is definitely on its way! 

There is so much I love about this time of year it's almost hard to put into words the relief I feel when it is upon us again. I remember being the same as a child too. Yes the Summer holidays are an opportunity for carefree fun and basking in the sun, but I always looked forward to going back to school in September and the feelings that came with that. I loved the opportunity for a fresh start and shopping for new school shoes and stationery was a personal highlight for me.

The funny thing is, and over twenty years later, I still get all of those old feelings coming back to me. I still get that urge to buy some fresh boots and refresh my life a little in time for Autumn and Winter. 

I'm not going to lie, this past Summer and the heatwave nearly broke me. I am not really a Summer person at the best of times but to survive those weeks of endless 30 degree plus days feels like somewhat of an achievement for me. Anyone who loves Summer will think I'm crazy reading this but I actually found it a real struggle. Most people associate Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) with the colder months but I think there's definitely an argument for it impacting on people during the Summer too.

A word I keep hearing over and over again when people are talking about Autumn is 'cosy' and it would seem that so many of us need and crave those cosy vibes. We are the people who love nothing more than to curl up under a fleecy blanket with our favourite box set, light a candle or two and enjoy the comforting warmth that a mug of hot tea brings to our cold hands. It's a feeling of homeliness and calm that seems unattainable at other times of the year. Many people dread the darker evenings and colder temperatures but for me it brings with it an unexplained contentment and sense of wellbeing. 

I think the problem with Summer is that there's so much pressure and expectation. Everyone around you seems to be living their best Instagram worthy life and you constantly feel like you should be doing more and making the most of the sunshine before it disappears again. The little things you used to enjoy at home also stop bringing you the same comfort. I mean I tried to enjoy some cosy time on many occasions but it just doesn't have the same appeal when the sun is still glaring in your window at 8pm and you're profusely sweating. 

I'm particularly looking forward to this change in season because yes the Summer has been a challenging time for me and, for many reasons, I haven't been feeling my best. I've actually felt in somewhat of a rut for the last few months and unable to find my flow with anything, including this blog. I've had some serious moments of self doubt and motivation levels have been at an all time low. I haven't posted a new YouTube for weeks and I've kind of fallen out of love with everything. But, and it's a hopeful but, I do feel myself slowly but surely coming back to life again. Since I've noticed a change in the air I've also noticed a change in myself. I'm feeling a sense of optimism again and a desire to want to make some positive changes. I feel so much more at ease with myself and there's so much I'm looking forward to. 

I mean of course we have Halloween, bonfire night, my birthday and Christmas to look forward to. These are all occasions I absolutely love! But I'm also really excited to get some structure and routine back in my life. We've had a few trips away this Summer, all of which have been amazing, but it has felt difficult to really make any headway with other things and really focus on my personal goals. Our next major trip away now isn't until the end of January and I am actually finding some relief in having a good few solid months to really knuckle down with no huge disruptions. It sounds like a huge cliche but I want to 'work on myself' a little and take care of myself better which will mean putting myself first again.  

So here's to more productive and happier days ahead.
Autumn, I am more than ready for you.